Why Your Wedding Guests Are So Hard to Please (and How to Please Them)

So you want a concrete formula that will guarantee all your guests are not simply impressed by your wedding, but truly pleased and happy? Read on… 

In my many years of experience, I have come to learn the things are most important to your guests, and I will share the secret with you now. There is one element that will give them the warmest memories, and influence them speak to others fondly about a wedding, more than anything else.

Your guests want to have a good time. 

That’s it. That’s all there is to it. 

It is stating the obvious, but it’s often overlooked as people tend to get bogged down into minute details when planning their wedding. Your guests want to leave with a smile, knowing that they had an enjoyable day / evening, that it was fun for them, that they talked, sang, laughed and danced. They want to make new connections, and strengthen old ones.

Sure, there are other things that may impress your guests like a really flashy cake, and exorbitant flower decorations on each table, or pulling up in a lamborghini, but these items are considered a bonus to enhance, rather than create a good experience. The little details that may seem important to you because you put a lot of effort in will often not matter one iota to your guests, if they notice them at all.

I am not telling you that you should not get any nice things for your wedding, if you want them then of course that’s up to you. But just know that if you are getting these things, then you are doing it for you, not for your guests. 

Don’t believe me? Think of the following:

Scenario A.) You are attending a wedding of 300 guests at a huge decked out function centre. There is a gourmet 5 course meal, the biggest cake you’ve ever seen, and flowers adorned on every wall and table. The venue staff are highly trained for silver service and are extremely polite and proper. 

 You are seated for the vast majority of the evening because they keep bringing out food.  The atmosphere feels a little pretentious.

When it comes to party time, people are reluctant to join the dancefloor, they fear being put on show and the occasion feels too formal to really enjoy and have some fun. People have been seated for so long that by the time the formalities are over they start saying their goodbyes. Afterwards people comment on how beautifully dressed the venue was, and how nice the food was. 

Scenario B.) you attend a 50-guest, small backyard gathering for a wedding. The dinner is buffet style, from a local caterer, and there is a self-serve bar, with basic drinks and definitely no top-shelf liquors. There are no ice sculptures, no flowers, and minimal decorations, but they’ve made it work with some festoon lights strung across the yard. There are no place cards at tables so everyone can just find a seat where they like. Most people, apart from the elderly, are standing for the majority of the night. 

The atmosphere is relaxed, there are minimal formalities so everyone is up and chatting with each other at different tables. People are mingling, they feel relaxed and ready to party. After the first dance between bride and groom is finished, everyone rushes to the dancefloor area and has an amazing time singing, dancing and laughing the night away. guests leave the wedding feeling on top of the world, and will comment that it was the most fun they had ever had at a wedding. 

Think back to previous weddings you have attended. Can you name the wedding that has had the nicest flowers? I bet you can remember the wedding that you enjoyed the most.

I know which I would rather for my guests. 

Granted of course, I have painted these two scenarios with some bias to get my point across. There are certainly big weddings where people party like crazy, and small weddings that have not done well at all to get people dancing. But my point remains, your guests will remmeber the experience they had above everything else. 

There’s no guarantee that people will dance at any wedding. This depends on a number of factors like who you invite, the atmosphere, the timing, but most importantly its up to your DJ and/or MC. 

The MC will prime the crowd and set the tone to get everyone in the mood to party. The DJ will be able to read the crowd, and play the right music at the right time to keep the dancefloor alive. 

I can’t stress enough how vital it is to have a good DJ and MC in order to maximize the experience for your guests. If budget is a constraint, then make this the one area you don’t compromise on, if guest enjoyment and participation is a priority.